Today, when I was driving home from work, I saw two kids playing in their front yard with the hose. There are moments when I wish I could go back to that time in my life. When my biggest fear was my brother actually soaking me with the hose. Back when I was enteratined by paint by number and a new box of crayons made my day.

It would be so much easier than dealing with bickering friends and their drama, worrying about other friends developing a coke habit, or navigating to oft disgusting gay community.

But I guess hindsight really is 20/20. Back then, all I could wish for was to be older. Little did I know.

 
Why fight it? I'll join the meme. I am a sheep.

TJ is . . .

born by Patricia Anne Garcia

TJ is the ISO-3166 assigned 2 letter country code domain for Tajikistan

TJ'S is located in Alpine, Wyoming, the perfect winter escape

right.

the random variable corresponding to the j th control measurement

the RHD of a 500-bed residence hall at a large eastern college.

now available in wood and plastic bodies.

staying.

such a mystery that many believe the pony doesn't exist.

 
A Simple Equation

Being in charge at work
A friends wedding
+ A crashed computer
-----------------------
Glad this weekends over

 
I don't know what they were thinking but they left me in charge at work this weekend. The owner's son gets married tomorow and so no one is there to open and close but me. So I am running the show (This is the part where my sadistic inner demon comes out).

Actualy, this is the part where I got really shitfaced Thursday night at one of the many parties for the wedding guests, and showed up to work 30 minutes late. But tomorrow will be a better day. Especially seeing as how I am going to the wedding tomorrow night. It's good to go to receptions where the people throwing them own a liquor store.

 
Rannie has aked that all GLBT bloggers show our pride. So here is my contribution to the meme.

Right after I came out, two of my best friends, who were also gay, decided to take me out for a drink. We went to Good Friends, a local gay watering hole. We were sitting on the balcony talking (mostly interrogating me), when a car passed on the street below, blaring Denise Williams' "Let's Hear It For The Boy." Suddenly, the once quiet men who filled the balcony, erupted in song, ourselves included. It's not that I'm particularly fond of that song or anything, but the experience was great. I had finally found a sense of place, a sense of belonging. For so long I had been uncomfortable with myself and my environment. But at that moment, everything fell into place. I had finally found a place and people who fostered the idea of me being comfortable with myself.

 
We produced over $1000 of food this morning out of a kitchen the size of a shoe box. I am physically broken and repulsed by the sight or thought of food.

On the up side, I have finalized my dates for my trip to Toronto. I'll be there the second week of July. It's the only thing that keps me going. I just keep telling myself, "three more weeks."

 
Soundtrack for a Balmy and Breezy Summer Evening

1. Wilco "Heavy Metal Drummer" (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot)

2. Cass Elliot, "Dream A Little Dream of Me"

3. Dave Matthews Band, "Crash"

4. REM, "Nightswimming"

5. Conversations with a good friend

 
I'm in a bitchy mood today. Really bitchy. I think anyone would be if they had just spent almost 9 hours working in a greasy kitchen, only to come home and ind out that due to construction down the street, their water has been turned off till 10 pm. So I have to sit here greasy, gross, and smelling like onions until 10. Lovely. I just wish I could have an endorphin rush right now. It seems it would make me appreciate the world a lot more right now.

 
I just deleted one of the more disconcerting pieces of junk mail I have seen in a while. The subject read: "Rape & Love like no other." I found that odd seeing as how I have long held the belief that Rape and Love were mutually exclusive concepts

 
James and I went out to be gay last night. We went to the usual haunts. Of course we can't just have a normal evening, or else it wouldn't be blog worthy. Last night at Oz was the wet underwear contest. I must say that it was one of the most tragic things I have seen in a while. We couldn't decide if the host was either not a drag queen at all, or just a drag queen who didn't know how to be one. Essentially she looked like Elton John on really bad acid. The show got no better when the contestents appeared. The first one was fairly skinny and plain and unattractive. He wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been for the perfect Prince Valiant haircut. Believe me, it was scary. The show progresed with the usual parade of middle aged men and chalmations thinking they looked good in wet white underwear. They didn't. Only two of the guys were at all attractive. And of course they split the prize. Otherwise, last night went well.

Today was a different story. All I will say is that we were slammed at lunch and the oven went out this morning. Needless to say, I need a drink and a nap. So I think I will do just that.

 
Up until recently, I thought that work was going well. I have managed to survive my first month as deli manager with very few problems. That is until today. The owner informs me that he wants to try and cut down on the number of people who work doing the day (i.e. lunch). He wants to try and cut it down by a third. This leaves only two of us working in the kitchen (myself included) and one person for delivery. I am not sure how in the hell he plans to accomplish this, but I am sure that it involves making my life a living hell. This means I can no longer have nay meetings with vendors or clients during lunch. It also means that setting up and breaking down the kitchen is going to be a bitch. What I am going to find more interesting is how he is going to react when I go on vacation in July and will not be there for an entire week. I am relishing the secret personal satisfaction I will feel knowing the owner is going to be killing himself trying to get everything done. Maybe then I can at least get one more person in the kitchen.

 
Want to know how my weekend has been? Friday night when I went out, I didn't get home until after the sun had come up. Where was I you ask? At the Pub with a straight friend who gets maried in less than two weeks.

 
Last night was interesting. I spent most of it in the emergency room with James. I am not quite sure how I became everyone's personal tragedy friend, but I have. Whenever someone is mugged, robbed, has their car broken into, has a death in the family, or needs to go to the emrgency room, I am the friend that is called. Hell, half the time, I am the friend that is there when everything happens.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I wouldn't trade them for anything. And I am truly flattered that they think enough of me to rely on me in their times of need, but give me a break. No, really. They need to realize how draining and depressing it can be to be that friend. All of their problems and depressing shit get dumped on me and that builds up fast. Sometimes, I just need a break. Which is why I am going to Toronto in July. I am going to have a full week of zero responsibility. I can't even imagine. I just hope that all hell doesn't break loose while I'm gone because I can't cope with coming back to such a huge mess.

PS: James, I hope your having fun and that your tooth didn't explode on the plane

 
James is off to San Francisco tomorrow. So all of you bloggers in the Frisco area better treat him right and make sure he gets back to us all in one piece.